Liquefy my love

No, not with lava but with a blender - four apricots and an orange, or a satsuma, two apricots and a handful of spinach - super-power smoothies to make you feel like you are doing something good New-Year's-Resolution styleeee, but really you are just using up old fruit.

When asked on another blog to name the one thing I was genuinely good at I failed the task by naming three, but actually it should be four: Onanism, Falling in love, Wasting hours link-surfing in Wikipedia, Being able to fall asleep anywhere... but I think these are useful skills - being able to recharge one's batteries physically, sexually, intellectually and emotionally - like being able to put yourself through an auto-spa and refresh yourself without needing any external stimulation, if you'll pardon the pun.

Randomly, I saw this on the internet and thought it hilarious:
"Twat did you say, I cunt hear you? Tits alright, bare-ass me again! Eh, we'll finger it out later."
I guess I really do have the sense of humour of a 12yr old boy!