Sunday, August 30, 2009

But the bitch bites back...

Having resolved the two-hour 1am-3am disagreement - I decided not to email my response - but to post it here instead!

I'm glad you are interested in these subjects, but I never expected you to want to be - I assumed you'd accept my interest and get on with your own things. Perhaps if I had anticipated you wanting to become better acquainted with what I think about these issues, I would be better prepared to answer your questions about what I believe and why I believe it.
I don't know. It still seems weird to me that you might want to get to the kernel of what I think and feel about certain matters. It isn't something to which I am used; I don't have friends who debate - it has always seemed a bit improper to demand explanation from someone for their opinions - maybe I'm too English in my upbringing - it seems impolite to ask someone to justify their position - it seems 'nicer' to say you aren't sure if you agree, or that you don't understand, but that it isn't important and move on to talking about something else. Maybe it was a failing for me to be taught that being super-polite is more important that challenging opinions and engaging in debate - but it is shocking to me that someone might ask you to defend your statements; I'm used to someone just saying "that's nice/interesting" or "I don't know much about that" or "hmm, I'm not sure, let's agree to disagree". Being asked to explain yourself feels like you are being called to account, that what you have said is immediately obvious as different from what is accepted/the norm/reasonable, rather than simply being an enquiry into one's logic about deciding to believe that particular statement, in the hope that shared understanding might be achieved. I don't think I talk much with anyone who wants to come to a middle-ground opinion about certain matters - we all just agree that we all have our own opinions and leave it at that. It's rare that I actually ask someone what they think about something I believe - I'm not that interested in how my thoughts are received by others, unless I am seeking clarification of my own thoughts, or think they might be a bit weird so I test them out - in general I am happy with what I have decided is true and I leave it at that.

I think you're more interested in and more used to learning by developing ideas through talking with others; I prefer to read and cogitate alone. That's probably strange to you, just as your way is strange to me.

So let's just agree to disagree.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts with Thumbnails

Visit - A colorfully flamboyant webcomic!