Tuesday, July 06, 2010


I'm not a big exercise fan. Swimming - great (love it, used to teach it). Yoga/pilates - good, too (done it occasionally; I like the clothes - sleek and tidy, not baggy shorts and other nonsense; I also like the ethos - slow, strong movements building control and strength) - I have some DVDs which I hardly ever watch - and I also subscribe to YogaToday on YouTube, which is actually fun but, again, I don't do them regularly.

However, the one activity I do practice regularly, so much so that it has become second-nature, is fussing. To the uninitiated, fussing, is the manner of being whereby you undertake many pointless actions, burning calories and raising other people's heart-rates as you go. Has your partner just popped his cup down on the floor next to his chair? Then next time you are up (and you wont find yourself on the sofa much once you embrace the fussing life-style), pointedly grab it and place it on the nearest sturdy surface (table, mantelpiece, etc.) - if you really want to push yourself, take it through to the kitchen, next to the draining board to await washing. Even if he protests and says he hadn't finished, or that he was about to do that himself, do not desist - you wont always have support for your new health regime, but don't worry the benefits will outweigh these negative moments.

Later when the freshly washed cup is ready to be put away (perhaps you've decided to wash it, the three spoons and a buttery knife that were sitting, taunting you), the cupboard may reveal mug handles not in alignment - you know what to do. Swivelling them all to be nicely-OCD in arrangement may not be enough; take down the entire collection, wipe the shelf with bleach and re-stack, maybe on top of some drawer liner you happened to have bought on sale a few years' back.

Ready for a rest? Sit on the sofa and reach for a magazine - make sure the pile contains them in an orderly fashion, spines together, cover uppermost, maybe even in date order. Do you espy some laundry ready for folding? Then head upstairs with armfuls! Note that the bathroom bin is full? Then take it down! Remember that the letter that needs mailing is on the study desk? Go up and grab it! Then do the folding you meant to do ten minutes ago!

Ready to crack on with the day and do some work? Read the news headlines? Posted a quick blog entry? Sent a tweet? Checked Facebook and saw that your news feed is filled with comments and 'likes' about the trailer for that new movie? So, you've got to watch the trailer now, too! Then the other recommended clips that seem to feature cute baby animals being unspeakably cute. Then you remember that magazine had an article on puppy fostering...should you sign up? Maybe you should ask your dog-loving friend for advice...Thirty minute catch-up chat later and it is time for lunch.

What a morning!

You too can fill your day with inane activities that do little to improve your life and sure as heckfire annoy your family and friends.

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