Sunday, March 29, 2009

Queeries for Queeroes

So another question for the LGBTQ community...
Do lesbians who indulge in fisting find childbirth easier as a result?

...and the usual Sunday Serving of Surflinks...
  • Check out Tom Robinson's fab website: he is a queer man who ended up marrying a woman and having babies with her, but remains solidly promoting LGBTQ pride and resistance through his awesome music. His website kindly allows free downloads of his tunes for the sensible reason that ("iTunes downloads cost 79p per track. Writer/publisher get 6p, Performer 6-8p, Visa/Mastercard 7p, Apple 12p, and Record Company almost 50p. Sod that. Help yourself to my songs & share them with your friends") - make sure you play 'Glad to be Gay' at every queer event you attend - too often there is such dispiritedness as a result of constant battles with prejudice that queer events can feel a bit angry, isolationist and overly-political. Sometimes we just want to be really, you know, gay - - as in happy! As Dana's brother, Howie, said at GayPride on The L Word: I mean (shouting to the crowd) be gay, be proud everybody! (The crowd roars back.)
Sing if you're glad to be gay
Sing if you're happy that way, hey
(Tom Robinson lyrics)

"You know I can't let let you go back there now."
"I don't want to."
"So what do we do?"
Billy held Elise tight with one arm while her other caressed her hair, then the full length of her back, stopping only to cup her full, shapely ass. "We've got horses. Can you ride?"
"Hell, yes, I can ride."
"So we got us horses, a treasure map, and the rest of out lives. What's say we go for it?"
Elise rolled Billy onto her back, ripped open her shirt, and said, "Start speaking proper English, stop acting stupid, and let me see you as you really are and we might have a deal."
Little did Billy know that Elise was practically defining butch/femme relations for the next century with that single move.
Therese Szymanski, The Life and Times of Ornery Crazy Mean Bad Bill, 2007

I'm a bit surprised how much I loved the story and then I realised it was because it felt safe, mirroring the heteronormative lines of romance stories I have seen, read and heard since I was a child. The protagonists are a man (who is really a woman, but who dresses, acts and names herself in the masculine style) and a woman who live together, eventually have a child (adopted) and reconcile with the estranged family members who are just fine with their alternative lifestyle choices. Did I really feel more comfort in reading familiar stories with a queer take for queer women, or is it ingrained in humans to have that sort of same+other relationship, rather than same+same? More introspection needed...

On the idea of introspection, I was in the bath finishing TL&ToOCMBadBill, when I realised in all my roles where I have been the boss, I have never felt comfortable in charge of women who were physically bigger than me. At 5'8 and 8stone it is hard to find employees smaller than myself, but more importantly what does it mean about my self image and ability to be the strong woman in charge yet physically weaker? The same goes for women I want to date - they are all similar in physique. Either I am so egotistic that I can only fancy people of similar body-shapes, or I think the men in my life should be bigger than me (men are the protector, tall and imposing like my father) and that the women in my life should be smaller than I (women are delicate and need protecting like my mother). This might be linked to the idea that I prefer to date younger women (I cannot get down with well-used puss, or wrinkly flesh, post-birth bodies, etc. - maybe I worry that they have diseases if they have been about a bit). I would prefer a young virgin, then any mistakes in bed would be ignored (what does that say about my bedroom confidence?) and we could learn to love one another together rather than having to show off one's skills. At 28, younger lovers are realistically going to be 18-28, anything younger really feels gross and paedophilic. Yet I also sought young inexperienced male partners, I had a plan to hang about seminaries, young, men, probably virgins learning to be vicars, looking for a wife - I could be a real hit! Do I seek to help out at queer LGBTQ youth events because I am experienced in working with youngsters, or is it that I think there might be a potential gf there for me? Weird... I think there might be something Freudian in this...

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