Tuesday, March 17, 2009
She pretty much fits all the categories: dancer, hippie, bad-ass, funky, chill, cute. I'd be the animal, sexy or classy one I guess. But the problem is that one shoe of one type and the other of another is not a great strategy for love-success.
Having met a total of four times in person over ten days we have gone full circle: strangers to strangers.
How on earth did that happen?
I made the mistake of sharing too much; I had my expectations and hopes dashed (which makes any human feel all-at-sea, like they cannot trust their own judgement); I felt stupid at having misinterpreted the flirting, the cheek kisses of Monday night, the missing spending time together, the newly free wandering of hands and kisses on Friday night, into her being ready to be more than friends. This was not the case. She realised this in the cold light of day on the Saturday, with a hangover and this grumpy woman refusing to get out of her bed (me).
What a disaster. The first person to share her sleeping space in 6yrs other than her partner and I mess it up by not following the signals and staying the fuck away. I knew better. I knew it wouldn't work out. A friendship full of flirting is better than no friendship. And I really need a friend right now.