Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Monday, August 02, 2010

Iranian women's rugby team take to the field wearing modesty-preserving headscarves and tracksuits: do their bodies really need this much protection?

Iranian women's rugby team take to the field wearing modesty-preserving headscarves and tracksuits | Mail Online

I wonder about these burhkinis and other modest sports clothing. I know little about Arabic or Muslim culture, but what I have read suggests that body covering is to protect the women from:
lascivious thoughts from the men they encounter;
having their reputation tarnished by being seen as a floozy if they are not covered;
being judged on appearance rather than what they say or do...

and to protect the beauty and glory of a woman's body and hair for her husband (to be).

Now are these women really all so gorgeous that non-covering will reduce men to baying wolves? What value is their reputation other than in finding a husband - does it stop you getting a job? Doesn't judgement based on clothes not character happen anyway? They may not be seen as sexy and dim, but rather as prudish and uptight - which is worse?

As for retaining one's true beauty for their husbands, I find this offensive. A beautiful woman might save her beauty for herself, her best friends, her family, her God. Why is there this assumption that a woman must marry a man? Lesbianism is illegal, I assume. But is celibacy and spinsterhood frowned upon, too?

Maybe these women cover up so that they can revel in their own bodies alone behind closed doors and know that the secret of their bodily truth has been preserved.

As for the sporting clothes - I understand that getting Muslim women involved in such activities is hard, as they are seen as immodest in of themselves. What would these women (and their families) rather they be healthy and stepping outside cultural norms, or locked away and perhaps have a lower quality of life? What is more important to them? How they meet these doctrines or how their fit their life is? Is the worldly experience important, or is it the after-life (which will be good if they follow doctrine) that matters?

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Round-up of Sunday

There are many things that kept my imagination alive today. Here are some of them - hat-tip mostly to Feministing:

Three things I really don't understand

  1. DOMA - Why is there a link between the church and state in marriage ceremonies? Weddings are a celebration of love based around a legally-binding contract, sometimes with religious blessing - an official, government-recognised union to which God has also given the thumbs up. Do people really think Jesus/Christianity/the Church (or whichever flavour of faith you prefer) invented marriage? Am I totally in ignorance of the necessary history? I thought it was designed to keep daughters under some man's control, be it their father or eventually their husband. Or something to do with taxes, or the census, or something totally not connected with saving one's soul or being a good representative of your particular fellowship. But I may be wrong -  - it's happened before.
  2. Money spent on governmental elections - I don't think it is fair because rich, corporate-panderers will be more vocal as they can afford more newspaper adverts and radio time. To run our countries we need experienced, moral people, not those with wells of cash that should go to better causes. There is a campaign somewhere in the states for this woman to run again for election next year and she has already amassed millions in campaign revenue - why not give that all to charity and stand for election based on that?  I need to find some stats.
  3. Raul Moat support - in the UK there is a penchant for celebrating anything that defies or ridicules the police or any element of authority. So when a policeman was shot (and blinded) by a double murderer who then went on the run, there was a disturbing element of society who were egging him on. Paul Gascoigne wanted to take him a fishing rod, a dressing gown and some sandwiches. Now there are those that have made a Facebook tribute page and people selling commemorative T.shirts. I find it all very shocking.

    Wednesday, July 14, 2010

    Fashionable politics

    These gorgeous-looking ladies may be gathered for a dubious parade in France, because Sarkozy made some questionable invitation decisions to African dictators/leaders, but they do look fabulous. If you've married a man who is or has become a dictator, then you might not be gorgeous on the inside, but outside, these ladies shine. They also look happy and healthy on the whole, whilst Carla Bruni looks so thin in comparison. Yet, if asked to run after a bus or haul bags of groceries home from the supermarket, I am hard pushed to decide whether the guests or the hostess would be better at the task.

    I wish there were fashions like these available in the West. Colourful, expressive, comfortable looking. I love them! This photo is courtesy of the DailyMail and the article on Bastille Day.

    Celebrity paedophilia

    Elvis and Priscilla met on September 13, 1959. She was 14 (born May 24, 1945), he was 24 (born January 8, 1935). They got married seven and half years after first meeting: May 1, 1967.

    Myra Gale Brown (born July 11, 1944) aged 13 married Jerry Lee Lewis on December 12, 1957. Jerry was 22 (born September 29 1935). He was first married at age 14 to a 17year old woman and went on to have five more marriages

    Emmanuelle Seigner (born 22 June 1966) married Roman Polański on 30 August 1989 when she was 21 and he was 56 (having been born 18 August 1933).


    Maybe my point of view is too narrow. I haven't studied anthropology, so I know nothing of other peoples who find young marriage and sexual congress normal. Maybe I don't know of enough people who had sexual contact at a young age and found it an enlightening, developing experience which they in no way regret. Unfortunately, I do know of a man who had sex at age 12 with his family's maid and it has affected him in a very serious way. I also know of a woman who had sex at age 20 with a man ten years her senior and still thinks that was too young to be engaging in intercourse.


    Polanski's crime is shocking but I find the casual response of some commentators more shocking. Apparently, under-age sexual activity is very common. When did childhood kiss-chase games become so unchaste? Apparently, large age gaps aren't a problem. Why isn't the whole world in uproar that someone significantly older engaged with someone emotionally/romantically/sexually in a way that the younger person may not fully appreciate/understand? I find it all mind boggling. To me, sex with a child is rape whether you use physical force, coerce with threats about their parents, tell them it helps them become an adult quicker, will make them sexy and popular, or they will be given sweets and horse riding lessons in exchange. An abuse has occurred - an abuse of power and knowledge. An abuse of a position of responsibility, a duty of care. An older person automatically becomes a temporary guardian of a younger person, whether the age gap is a month or a decade. If you don't want the responsibility of protecting the younger person, don't be in a situation that requires it. Respect yourself and your companions. I don't doubt loving feelings can develop between any two people, but acting on it before either party is an adult is foolish and dangerous.

    Friday, July 09, 2010

    Wedding weirdness


    Does the person conducting a sacred/official ceremony have to be sentient in order to make it 'real'? Apparently, not in Japan. There is now a robot who can marry people. The I-Fairy has pigtails. 
    "The wedding took place at a restaurant in Hibiya Park in central Tokyo, where the I-Fairy wore a wreath of flowers and directed a rooftop ceremony. Wires led out from beneath it to a black curtain a few feet away, where a man crouched and clicked commands into a computer."
    So, like in the Emerald City with the Wizard of Oz's hidden self, there is a man behind a curtain making the choice to continue the ceremony. However, it wont be long until this is entirely automated. Will it even be a proper wedding? Does the person officiating not need to be conscious?

    Sunday, August 02, 2009

    "Millions Like Us" 1943

    Free DVD from the newspaper - looked interesting - it turned out to be AMAZING.

    Clever shots progressing the narrative without wasting screen-time/script-space with filler conversation
    Links with Hitchcock - continues The Lady Vanishes (1938), apparently...
    Series of movies by same director and writer
    Smart script that has some gems: "everything except the kitchen stove" - when did that become the 'kitchen sink'?

    Also saw Meg Jenkins (I forget where I have seen her before, but her face is SO familiar).

    Then there was the star - a woman - Patricia Roc. Reminiscent of anyone modern?

    I think there is an uncanny resemblance to Katherine Heigl - but I might be wrong.

    This movie covered so many themes:
    Film as propaganda - good women help out in whatever capacity necessary;
    Women going into the war effort, abandoning 'father' back home;
    Father being unable to cope alone - dirty dishes, no fire in the grate, surviving on fish&chips and stout;
    Women having flights of fancy (day-dream sequences) - but these are either deemed reasonable for emotional woman and the essence of femininity, or are another demonstration of weak women needing man to set them right;
    Heartbreak after widowhood is temporary and good girls get back to work and to love ASAP for the benefit of Britain (final scene of the protagonist, Celia, staring to smile again and joining in with moral boosting song whilst images of RAF planes are superimposed on the shot);
    Losing one's virginity is a nerve-wracking and important thing - newly weds not wanting people to know on the bus, in the boarding house, but passion over-took these concerns and Celia declares she doesn't care who knows;
    Being coy about the wedding night and the honeymoon is kind of expected but not approved - get on with making babies and keeping Britain working - keeping the men happy;
    Would Celia's newly used vagina be tempting to another man? Would she remain a spinster? Would she be able to tempt another man?
    Documentary detail of life in a factory working for the war effort - not barracks for accommodation, even educated, University women went - Gwen, and dolly-birds -Jennifer;
    Jennifer did not get her marriage proposal as she was flighty and not useful in the factory, and the sturdy foreman needed someone who could cook, sew, knit;
    Celia did get her proposal from an unassuming Scot - ginger with bad skin, because she was meek and quiet - self-described as ordinary. A few dates and a falling out (sorted out because he was brave to go to Germany) led to the marriage;
    Silly girls panic over what might have happened (Fred never comes to the theatre at 7pm)- over-reacted to scant news - rewarded for forgiving brave man with a proposal;
    "It was made in 1943 as part entertainment/part propaganda following guidelines suggested by the Ministry of Information" [http://www.channel4.com/film/reviews/film.jsp?id=106000]
    There are more: I'll note them next time I watch and update this post.

    Monday, April 20, 2009

    Monday musings

    So all homo's, non-straights and other 'others' are fly-by-night, no strings-attached, on-night-stand people? Not so: the Miami Pride festival of last weekend celebrated 'legacy couples' who had been together longer than most of the attendees had been alive. This fantastic website showcases them in a series of timeline photographs; sadly there was a suspicious lack of women or transgendered people or even a bisexual couple who had happened to end up with a two-gendered partnership. Visibility much?

    Now, crime prevention (more on this anon from an article in The Economist), but would be criminals are being dissuaded by photographs of what they might look like after jail time. With 25% of the world's incarcerated population in the USA, a third of whom will never be released, what one might look like after being imprisoned could be last concern of the person tempted to act illegally. I would worry about missing out on nice shoes, not seeing the latest movies, never flying to Asia, having to breach my no-public-nudity clause in the group showers. But then that's just me...

    Gay marriage vs polygamy: apart from the misprint in the final paragraph, I think it a great article but which fails to note that polyamory (including polygyny and polygamy) are tricky (or wrong depending on your viewpoint) as they encourage, sanction, endorse, require sharing of one's body sexually with more than one person and your emotions, love, support, money, everything with more than one person. Now to me that seems like a whole heap of unnecessary trouble: maybe you get a few people to care for you when you are ill, but what if there is a sick person, a bereaved person, someone in labour all at the same time - who do you support? Who gets priority? There will have to be favourites, you will have to choose. Someone gets left out and pissed off. Trouble starts. Not worth it. Find one person, stick with them, make it work, good luck. Or rely on yourself, have others in your lives for the things you cannot do alone, but stay a single unit, no commitment to any one person or a group - that way madness lies.

    Wednesday, April 15, 2009

    Back to life, back to reality...

    Today's queeriosities include:
    1. Jezebel's guide to lesbo stereotypes and cliches
    2. Twelve-year old daughter of two gay mom's presented her life facts to politicians, some of whom expressed a change of heart over their voting direction after her speech. The wee one was interviewed: check it out.
    3. Jezebel's helpful recruitment guide for turning non-Sapphists into lady-lovers.
    4. Frightening news from Saudi Arabia - an 8yr old girl married off to a 47yr old man to settle her father's debt has been told that her marriage cannot be annulled until she reaches puberty. This is about as far from the fairytale of a Princess being married off as a child to her future Prince Charming as you could get.
    5. Three exciting women using their energy and faith to become engaged in fighting for justice and equality in a range of arenas.
    6. Firoza Bibi, a brave woman from rural India, has won a local governmental election and is fighting for justice for her local community, including women who were sexually brutalised as a weapon of war.
    7. Bilerico's guest blogger, Monica Helms, talks about how boring life is in binary. I like spectrum ideas, that we are a sliding scale of all types of humanity, but I worry that this somehow interferes with yin/yang, dualism philosophy of ancient cultures. Can I support a continuum whilst advocating a two-sides of the coin, together-we-make-a-whole argument?
    8. Li'l Wayne has been on the Jimmy Kimmel show and revealed that he lost his viginity at 11yr old to a woman, and it sounds like rape to pretty much everyone who has seen the clip and commented on it. From feministing.com there is a link to a smart essay on it, which raises the issue of rape apologism and its meaning for women-on-men assault, and how black men are hypersexualised and therefore the host and other guest (white) felt able to laugh about it.
    9. Sadly, the other news story about sexual assault that caught my attention was the disturbing story of a female Sunday School teacher who kidnapped, raped with a foreign object, murdered then put the body in a suitcase in a lake. The victim was a little girl. Paedophilic attacks are not just carried out by men.
    10. Thanks to queerty.com, I found 2M4M.org and their fab picture
    11. Clever video about wrongness of NOM claims through Towleroad.
    12. A hilarious video that mocks the original NOM film (@Bilerico)
    13. New book and online publicity drive for the femme-themed literature: Femmethology
    14. The fabulous, genderfucking superstar, Peaches, has a new album I feel Cream and a single from this Talk to Me has a fantastic music video, which feels a little Goldfrapp, Ride a White Horse, which incidentally looks a little Lady Gaga: check it out via queerty.com
    15. Cutest thing today - wee robot that has been helped around NY by kind citizens: an art project with humanitarian overtones - click here for the video. (@gizmodo)
    16. Sadly the elderly are getting a raw deal again: a fifth are not taking meals to save money according the Daily Mail (UK).
    17. But a British supermarket, ASDA, is helping the aging process by selling walking sticks and wheelchairs - no more NHS scrappy, institutional, utilitarian, stuff for you, Grandpa - a loaf of bread, a bottle of ale and a mobility aid - marvellous! (@DailyMailUK)
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