Be Yr Own Queero: fighting the good fight

Be Yr Own Queero is promoting queerness, so jump on the bandwagon!

Reblog if you identify as 'Queer'

Well, this took a while! I posted this back in February but the image failed... but never fear! I've managed it now; you can all exhale! - - I know you've been holding your breath for this!

Televisual treats: Amish gap years, homocidal University staff and parental gender desires.

• Rizzoli and Isles had a storyline about a murderous pimp who happened to be a residence advisor - beware all those heading to University this fall - your local, friendly helping-hand could be your worst nightmare!
• Amish: World's Squarest Teenagers was another fly-on-the-wall documentary where the participants were clearly prepped about what controversial things to say or do, yet it was still eye-opening and warming, unexpectedly so. I learned about bundling, the different types of Amish clothing options (and how Becky wore shorts on the beach!) and how dancing for joy (and to glorify God) can be life changing.
• 8 Boys and Wanting a Girl talked about PGD and the controversy. But no-one mentioned whether it was selection of a foetus based on gender, for which I can understand people's concerns. Or whether it was sperm selection (using centrifuge to spin off the light from the heavier sperm, since one type is mostly male) and then swamping a syphoned ovum in that selected sperm, or whether they actually selected a specific spermatozoa to implant in an ovum. This latter technique seems less controversial, but presumably it is more expensive. Also the feature was about women wanting girls in a family of men. I have two questions:
• Do those with gender disappointment tend to wish they had girls? Are there more mothers wanting mini-me's than there are fathers wanting little girls? Are there a similar number of dads in feminine families wanting some male company?
• Do these parents realise that even if they do conceive the longed for daughter or son, that they may turn out just the same as the other children - tree-climbing, gun-loving, football-playing, or doll-dressing, tea-making, pink-wearing? There is no assumption that the preferred gender will meet the cultural desires the parents want fulfilled. Mummy may not be able to go shopping for girly dresses with the daughter - she might want combats. Daddy may not get to go camping with his son, if he would rather stay home and play house. Do they prepare for this mentally? What if the kid is gender dysmorphic or sexually queer? Are they prepared for this? Does fulfilling the desire for a certain gender simply mean that the child must have the right genitalia? Would these mothers be happy with a gay son who wants to go to the gymkhana, discuss hair styles, or whatever else these women assume their imagined daughter would do? Would a father be okay with a butch daughter who can throw a ball, rugby tackle and make armpit burps with the best of them? I guess not. I think these parents are longing for a cultural stereotype that is unrealistic. They are hoping for a certain stereotype of personality rather than the genetic gender. Would any of their children feel pressure to be other than their current gender - do any of them consider transvestism or a transgendered identity more readily due to familial pressure? 

Okay, I have four questions actually: 

• Why don't any of these families consider adoption or fostering? Do they want a little version of themselves so badly?

•  What happens if the child is sick or disabled? They would be the right gender but the parents wouldn't be able to do all the 'gender-appropriate' activities - is that child still valid in their eyes as fulfilling the category they so badly desire? Would another healthy child of the right gender be needed to adequately satisfy this hunger?

Iranian women's rugby team take to the field wearing modesty-preserving headscarves and tracksuits: do their bodies really need this much protection?

Iranian women's rugby team take to the field wearing modesty-preserving headscarves and tracksuits | Mail Online

I wonder about these burhkinis and other modest sports clothing. I know little about Arabic or Muslim culture, but what I have read suggests that body covering is to protect the women from:
lascivious thoughts from the men they encounter;
having their reputation tarnished by being seen as a floozy if they are not covered;
being judged on appearance rather than what they say or do...

and to protect the beauty and glory of a woman's body and hair for her husband (to be).

Now are these women really all so gorgeous that non-covering will reduce men to baying wolves? What value is their reputation other than in finding a husband - does it stop you getting a job? Doesn't judgement based on clothes not character happen anyway? They may not be seen as sexy and dim, but rather as prudish and uptight - which is worse?

As for retaining one's true beauty for their husbands, I find this offensive. A beautiful woman might save her beauty for herself, her best friends, her family, her God. Why is there this assumption that a woman must marry a man? Lesbianism is illegal, I assume. But is celibacy and spinsterhood frowned upon, too?

Maybe these women cover up so that they can revel in their own bodies alone behind closed doors and know that the secret of their bodily truth has been preserved.

As for the sporting clothes - I understand that getting Muslim women involved in such activities is hard, as they are seen as immodest in of themselves. What would these women (and their families) rather they be healthy and stepping outside cultural norms, or locked away and perhaps have a lower quality of life? What is more important to them? How they meet these doctrines or how their fit their life is? Is the worldly experience important, or is it the after-life (which will be good if they follow doctrine) that matters?

Early start!

The Journal of Bisexuality from The American Institute for Bisexuality has the following editorial board:

• Editor-in-Chief: Jonathan Alexander, PhD - University of California, Irvine
• Assistant Editor: Regina U. Reinhardt, PhD - Board of Directors, American Institute of Bisexuality
• Book Review Editor: David van Leer, PhD - University of California, Davis
• Film/Video Review Editor: Wayne Bryant - President, Bisexual Resource Center

Editorial Board:

• Serena Anderlini-D'onofrio, PhD - University of Puerto Rico, Mayaguez
• Jana Evans Braziel, PhD - University of Cincinnati
• Amity Buxton - Director, Straight Spouse Network
• Eli Coleman, PhD - University of Minnesota
• Clive Davis, PhD - Syracuse University
• Sharon Dean, PhD -University of Cincinnati
• Sari Dworkin, PhD - California State University, Fresno
• Ron Fox, PhD - Saybrook Graduate School & Research Center
• Alexei Guren - BiNet USA and National Bisexual Advisory Board
• Marty Klein - Sex Therapist and Author
• Robyn Ochs -Tufts University
• Larry Peterson, PhD - University of Delaware
• Paula C. Rodriguez Rust, PhD - SUNY, Geneseo
• Ron Jackson Suresha, Rev. Br., ULC - Independent Queen Masculinities Author
• Geri D. Weitzman, PhD - Private Practice and Bisexuality-Aware Professional Directory
• Karen Yescavage, PhD - Colorado State University, Pueblo

These academics may well be worth keeping an eye on.

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How is it that I haven't heard of homonormativity until now? From Wikipedia:
"Homonormativity is the assimilation of heteronormative ideals and constructs into LGBTQ culture and individual identity. The term was coined by Lisa Duggan in 2003. According to Penny Griffin, Politics and International Relations lecturer at the University of New South Wales, homonormativity upholds neoliberalism rather than critiquing monogamy, procreation, and binary gender roles as heterosexist and racist. Duggan asserts that homonormativity fragments LGBTQ communities into hierarchies of worthiness. LGBTQ people that come the closest to mimicking heteronormative standards of gender identity are deemed most worthy of receiving rights. LGBTQ individuals at the bottom of the hierarchy (transsexuals, transvestites, intersex, bisexuals, non-gender identified) are seen as an impediment to this elite class of homonormative individuals receiving their rights."

• Duggan, Lisa. The Twilight of Equality?: Neoliberalism, Cultural Politics, and the Attack On Democracy. Beacon Press, 2003.
• Griffin, Penny. “Sexing the Economy in a Neo-liberal World Order: Neo-liberal Discourse and the (Re)Production of Heteronormative Heterosexuality.” British Journal of Politics and International Relations 9.2 (2007): 220-238. Academic Search Premier. EBSCO. MCTC LIBRARY. 30 June 2009.

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Bilerico did two great things today: mentioned bisexuality AND Michel Foucault!
Check out their great article here.
This is a snippet:
"The public conception of homosexuality coincided with a growing concern with effeminacy that appeared in England in the eighteenth century. Boys typically wore girl's clothing until they were sent away to boarding school. Men's clothing was frilly in the Elizabethan Age. However, clothing became more sharply differentiated from the 1770s on. There were diatribes against fops and dandies. By the nineteenth century, men no longer dared embrace in public or shed tears."

It occurs to me that American history at some point has to switch to a shared British history, as the behaviours/cultural phenomena of today are fed by the origins of these practices. These origins are almost uniquely British (with some Dutch influence, etc.) - it isn't until much later that other countries come to the melting pot of cultures that became USA. As the arriving families came to seek a better life in the new land, the new West, they brought their own ideas and norms. But until then the reference points for Americans lay within British soil. Understanding American practices by referring to Elizabethan clothing may seem odd, but it is accurate - there are linkages that cannot be denied - a continuation of stories through the ages.

@OldSpice #OldSpice: why I began to lose the love...

For those that follow me on Twitter you'll know that I spent a tonne of time the last two days watching and commenting on the genius advertising campaign that Old Spice produced using their frontman, Isaiah Mustafa. It was a comprehensive web-based project, using YouTube, Twitter and Facebook, whilst also trolling reddit, diggit, YahooAnswers, yedda.com and by keeping a weather eye on posts/articles on various websites. There must have been a band of industrious search engine machinists keeping track of the references and picking the best for comedic writing opportunities. The popularity of the whole enterprise even made other organisations join in: Starbucks, Gillette, Twitter, EW, biz, Huffington Post, G4TV, NHLBlackhawks, GQ, etc. Lots of celebrities joined in: Alyssa Milano, Christina Applegate, Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore, Ellen DeGeneres, etc. Then there were the thousands of ordinary folks who commented on the three main sites. Plus Isaiah himself got a video response and his daughter, Hayley, too! Reddit helped build an answer machine message maker using Isaiah's contributions.


I was going to write a quick post about how these were all brilliant. That they were helping to produce a new masculinity, a new male identity. One that recognises the cultural power of the patriarchy and the stereotypes of strong, slightly dim, bragging men being the preferred partner for legions of women. They were playing it so tongue-in-cheek. Deliberately using nonsensical/incorrect language constructions to show that OSMan wasn't too nerdy/knowledgeable. Recounting all the heroic tales of extreme endurance activities. Reminding everyone that the main purpose of the product, the Old Spice body wash range, was to attract ladies, obviously.


I thought it clever that whilst superficially supporting these stereotypes (who doesn't want to have a ripped, charming man offer to bake you cakes and ride horses with you? Even the most stalwart of lesbians can appreciate toned abs and the promise of apple or peach pies), it was also subverting them by deliberately making a mockery of them. Just as the other television adverts had done. If it had been too serious, it would have come off badly. Just as P.Diddy has managed to keep just this side of obnoxious in his Ciroc advertisements based on his smoothness, there was a fresh take on a hackneyed trope.


However, there were a few too many references to things that I was starting to think were a bit sexist and homophobic. Either the writers were getting tired, or they weren't being as careful with their language as they should have been. Eye on the ball, people. Engage your audience; don't alienate a market segment that just may spend a tonne of money on your products (clean-cut gay men, holla! Ladies who buy soap for their men because if they didn't they'd just use water and never be clean!). Singing happy birthday isn't within the range of a studmuffin, it would not work for the theme, and who knows, maybe Isaiah can't sing. But don't say that other men would laugh at male singers and say it is a lady thing to do. Plus the producers took their own sweet time to acknowledge that women might want to use the products, too. Did they embrace a butch army and welcome them? Saying that the more mighty warriors available for protection of Mount Olympus, the better? Or that Old Spice Man would be running recruitment sessions for all those that believed they had the tenacity to withstand a lion pride? No, they warned that ladies would get man-hair...and if they ever did smell like Old Spice it would be from rolling around with said-fragranced men.


Maybe I've had a sense of humour bypass. I watched all the videos - there were 96 according to the Twitter log - maybe all that overt masculinity was getting a bit much and I forgot it was meant to be wry irony. It was a drip-drip feed of over-the-top testosterone and it had me floored.


Now, I'd love CollegeHumour.com to copycat the style and have a bunch of dykes talking about the benefits of using Old Spice. No, there is no need to have them topless in just a towel... Maybe they can recruit the ladies who were in the Lez Chat clip: "recycling and cuddling are important to me"!

Klein Online

Thanks to BiMedia.org for bringing this new website to my attention.

Klein online allows a few questions to be answered and thus a grid is prepared identifying your degree of homo/bi/heterosexuality.

I have a problem with the supposition that there are two sexes - I am sure there are better ways of phrasing the questions. Do you want to be with people like you physically or like you mentally, or does packaging/personality not matter? :)

Here is my result, but I have no idea what it means!

Internet memories

My first foray into the internet was my Hotmail email address. I chose a moniker that my 18 year old self thought was funny and unique and was able to get it without having to add a number on the end like so many of my peers. I even got xxxxxxxxxxxxxx@hotmail.com - whereas lately there was a request to shift to hotmail.co.uk to free up the main domain names.

I must have signed up, created profiles and gotten email addresses to about fifty sites, at a conservative count.

The blog entries here that are entitled 'Comments on other blogs' are an attempt to round these ether identities into a tidy basket. It is not easy. Three Facebook identities, three hotmail email addresses, three Gmail addresses (one of which has been taken over by my father now), a rocketmail address (Yahoo), two work addresses, two Blogger identities, Wikipedia identity and countless other identities to get access to certain features of websites (full article access, the right to post comments, etc.). These are all connections with faceless and location-unknown computer servers that have little pieces of knowledge about me in them. Together they might form a general impression of me as a person.

I rarely give my exact date of birth - I tend towards Jan 1st 1979, because that is the easiest to enter when required in the 'sign up' form. I pick some sort of play on my name - I have used about twenty, I think, some with numbers, mostly without. I might choose some hilarious question for the inevitability that I will forget the correct log in details for these infrequently used sites.

Should I know where all this knowledge is? Should I try to track it all down?

Community awareness

Please take a few minutes to complete an important questionnaire about LGBT community values. You can learn more about the survey here. You can take the test here.

There is also one specifically about bisexual identities here (there is more info here).

Gay cure?

Plenty of church groups and some psychiatrists claim that any form non-heterosexuality can be cured with enough prayer or therapy. But really, what are they trying to do? Someone can choose to never act on their non-het feelings/inclinations, does that make them straight enough? Or is having the thoughts and feelings too much and they are trying to correct those, too? If you define a sexual orientation by behaviour then stopping someone's actions is enough, but if you want to change how someone responds inside to a person to whom they are emotionally/intellectually/romantically/sexually attracted then I don't think there is a quantity of prayer or therapy big enough to help that - the heart wants what the heart wants - it just does. You can't know who you are going to fancy today, tomorrow or in ten years' time. You just have to be open to hearing your heart and hope that those that love you will be supportive, the rest is just chaff blowing in the wind. It's only when displayed behaviour is censored and sanctioned that harassment and discrimination become a problem.

This article might stimulate more thoughts in the dialogue of choice/cure.

"Millions Like Us" 1943

Free DVD from the newspaper - looked interesting - it turned out to be AMAZING.

Clever shots progressing the narrative without wasting screen-time/script-space with filler conversation
Links with Hitchcock - continues The Lady Vanishes (1938), apparently...
Series of movies by same director and writer
Smart script that has some gems: "everything except the kitchen stove" - when did that become the 'kitchen sink'?

Also saw Meg Jenkins (I forget where I have seen her before, but her face is SO familiar).

Then there was the star - a woman - Patricia Roc. Reminiscent of anyone modern?

I think there is an uncanny resemblance to Katherine Heigl - but I might be wrong.

This movie covered so many themes:
Film as propaganda - good women help out in whatever capacity necessary;
Women going into the war effort, abandoning 'father' back home;
Father being unable to cope alone - dirty dishes, no fire in the grate, surviving on fish&chips and stout;
Women having flights of fancy (day-dream sequences) - but these are either deemed reasonable for emotional woman and the essence of femininity, or are another demonstration of weak women needing man to set them right;
Heartbreak after widowhood is temporary and good girls get back to work and to love ASAP for the benefit of Britain (final scene of the protagonist, Celia, staring to smile again and joining in with moral boosting song whilst images of RAF planes are superimposed on the shot);
Losing one's virginity is a nerve-wracking and important thing - newly weds not wanting people to know on the bus, in the boarding house, but passion over-took these concerns and Celia declares she doesn't care who knows;
Being coy about the wedding night and the honeymoon is kind of expected but not approved - get on with making babies and keeping Britain working - keeping the men happy;
Would Celia's newly used vagina be tempting to another man? Would she remain a spinster? Would she be able to tempt another man?
Documentary detail of life in a factory working for the war effort - not barracks for accommodation, even educated, University women went - Gwen, and dolly-birds -Jennifer;
Jennifer did not get her marriage proposal as she was flighty and not useful in the factory, and the sturdy foreman needed someone who could cook, sew, knit;
Celia did get her proposal from an unassuming Scot - ginger with bad skin, because she was meek and quiet - self-described as ordinary. A few dates and a falling out (sorted out because he was brave to go to Germany) led to the marriage;
Silly girls panic over what might have happened (Fred never comes to the theatre at 7pm)- over-reacted to scant news - rewarded for forgiving brave man with a proposal;
"It was made in 1943 as part entertainment/part propaganda following guidelines suggested by the Ministry of Information" [http://www.channel4.com/film/reviews/film.jsp?id=106000]
There are more: I'll note them next time I watch and update this post.

Sunday thoughts...

Amazing new technology allows pre-birth bonding with baby.
@Queerty has awesome flowchart of arguments for/against gay marriage.
Eye-tracking posterboard allows viewer interaction.
Kodak stops supplying an old-style film product - end of an era?
Women in Iran and shoes

The new curtailments of expression are for our benefit, or are they?

• Burqhas are unnecessary concealment of women, or a protection from sexual oppression?
• Kissing banned in schools is a safety net for too-young sexual activity, or stopping expression of self?
• Avoiding swine flu risk, or denying people religious expression with no more communion wine?
  

Cartographic Crush

How have I lived so long on this wonderful planet having never heard of lovemaps before?

Also from WIKIPEDIA:

Genderfuck is a politics of identity stemming from the identity politics movements of the 1950s and 1960s, a guiding principle of which is the idea that the personal is political.^[3]

The term dates at least to 1979, when an article by Christopher Lonc, entitled "Genderfuck and Its Delights", appeared in the magazine Gay Sunshine. Lonc wrote "I want to criticize and poke fun at the roles of women and of men too. I want to try and show how not-normal I can be. I want to ridicule and destroy the whole cosmology of restrictive sex roles and sexual identification."^[4]

and...^{http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radical_Faeries}

Genderbending films!

^{http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victor_Victoria}

^{http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Connie_and_Carla}

Ooh, and one for the calendar: Gay Shame ...goes girly!

One more for the road...

Beautiful unisexual photographs from a talented Parisienne...

Genderfork: The place to absorb and question - rather like pomoworld, but mellower... Though saying that, check out their Dance Party video!

Bugis have a fascinating five gendered societal spectrum... check out the video

Such gender non-conformity is finding favour in traditionally conservative China...

How can I expect a woman to understand me when my parents don't?

Six things for tonight's ponderence:

• My father needs to accept me as a sexual being.
• My parents are addicted to me and are not letting go despite me being on the brink of thirty and them fully-retired for the second time! Thereby preventing me from blossoming into the fullness of self that I ought. Therefore incurring mental breakdown from stress - like 1ton Son.
• Movies with cartoon/animation opening credits that is not repeated in the rest of the film: Honeymoon in Las Vegas, City Slickers, Ruthless People, 1st Wives' Club, Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead, Mad House.
  
• Theory that the first movies that a person sees moulds their funny bone - for me The 'Burbs and Inner Space - they are so well remembered, so familiar, that they feel real.
• There needs to be a reverse googlewhack generator - to establish if your website is a googlewhack and if so for which words - I'll talk to Google about it.
• Also in this confusing cyber age of multi-personalities, identities, passwords, homepages (facebook, match.com, friendsreunited, twitter, blogger) we all need an expert ID thief to hack into our lives with permission to establish who we are online...
  

Sometimes I feel like Corky, sometimes I feel like Violet.

I guess the question is, do I ever have to really choose? If I don't like labels (and there are plenty of others who agree with me on that sentiment) then maybe I can (not) assume different labels on different days, hours, whenever...

I think I would like to copy Daniela Sea and travel in another country in the guise of a boy (as she did in India) - I would feel safer and would probably get more access to certain areas...

MRKH: A story

A terrifically important video has been produced highlighting the very real issues with persons affected by MRKH. Everyone ought to see this in a sex ed class at high school and doctors should have it in their training. A valuable insight to a little researched condition.

Bling and Bing

Whilst planning my pre-Christmas party for all those lovely people that I wont see again until 2009 (the theme this year is ghetto/grotto fabulous; audacious use of tinsel is encouraged) D-Man was at it again: Scissor Sisters, Shakespeare's Sister and dying a little death... A stream of consciousness not entirely unrelated to his recent pimping efforts... 'Can I watch?' kind of theme...

Moving away from such crudity (which I think you will agree deserved no response), I thought it fitting to bestow festive gifts on the cyber-world. Here then is a list of very fabulous websites for your intellectual delight...

...concerning Gender/LGBTQQ/Queer/Identity/Orientation/Sexuality
1. A journal of awesomeness...art and queer theory, what more do you need?
2. An article on bi-dyke, the terminology that caused D-Man so much befuddlement t'other day
3. Riese's very awesome article at The L Word inspired OurChart site
4. The Journal of Bisexuality for those that want a dip into the warm waters of academic advancement...
5. Helpful list of orientation/gender/sexuality definitions - if these are even possible!

Also a veritable panoply of options for sustaining your inner geekery
1. A fabulous list of weird words I would never have come across if it wasn't for Wikipedia.
2. An amazing application for converting any measurement into any other - nautical rhumbs, homesteads, picofarads, nybbles, kips, scruples-force, kiloponds, dynes angstroms, femtometers, smoots, metric slugs, pennyweights troy, torr, dracontic months, kilderkins, chaldrons...Scrabble championships here I come!
3. A truly awesome bunch of people who for a bit of cash can immeasurably improve your existence...
4. Need to build a robot? No problem, this site has all you need.
5. Tired of your robot, fancy your chances as a megalomaniacal mayor - then build your own city...

Hopefully these tidbits will help while away a few moments of an otherwise monotonous day!

Hasta tarde!

It's a fair cop, Guv'nor. You've got me bang to rights and no mistake.

So, I briefly considered a wee introduction about myself, my life, my project, but I thought blow that, let's just jump right in! You guys will grasp what's going on quick enough... For those that need a hook to continue reading let it suffice to say that this fledgling blog is going to cover every bizarre, unexpected and controversial (to some) conversation, thought and experience that form a good proportion of my existence. I'm not crazy, it's just that the people around me are...

Today's weirdness is courtesy of D-man and his attempts to pimp me out... No, I'm serious - he has this pal who is thinking of trying lesbianism (based on some rubbish experiences with men and a current interest in exploring sapphic tendencies...). Here follows our facebook chat conversation - since this is my first post I thought I would be lazy and just ctrl+c this bad boy. A cheat? Yeah, maybe, but at least you know my standards from the off.

After an extended foray into the varying benefits of pillow-talk referencing one's own or one's partner's genitalia (i.e Which is sexier - talking about your own bits or that of your current bed-mate's?) and how my preference indicates likelihood of being a fully-blown lesbo as opposed to a pretty balanced bisexual (which I always assumed I was), I came to the conclusion at 2:49pm that I am fascinated by sexuality. I worried that it was a reflection of how much/little I was getting - that there might be an (in)verse relationship - but now I think it is actually just something that interests me. Everything from the use of sexual practice to create new life or to self-identify & determine one's own orientation, to the use of orgasm as artistic exploration - I am fascinated by it all. There are so many options, diversions, perversions. You can never summarise or collate. There are innumerable bastardisations and derivations. Like a very fine fractal diagram eternally diverging/converging. Rather poetic, no?

My partner in crime (D-Man) was happy to discuss the issue... but first there was one matter to clear up - my academic education thus far not being in anything remotely related... Would this stop me from talking about such things? Not on your nelly. Having taken courses in mostly science subjects since age 16 I'm not really best placed to comment on such culturally-created concepts as gender, orientation, etc. But I wasn't going to let a little thing like that hold be back.

Luckily I have found management (in which I have my university degree and current PhD research) to be an appropriately interdisciplinary subject. It is about managing expectations, goals, people, processes and power - all the facets of sexual exploration; it isn't just about running a company.

After half an hour of banter about gender-expression and related topics we had to briefly part company but we were soon back in the swing of things...

3:08pmD-Man
brb
3:17pmD-Man
sorry about that
was it terrible without me?
3:17pmBioGal
actually I have been busy self-identifying as a bi-dyke
was v hard work
3:18pmD-Man
as in you were evaluating whether you want to do away with cock completely?
3:28pmD-Man
or does that mean something entirely more scandalous?
3:28pmBioGal
no no
I was learning the definition of bi-dyke and seeing if it fitted me mentally
or at least if it fitted me mentally right now
and I think it might
3:29pmD-Man
what is a bi-dyke?
3/4 for girls, 1/4 for boys?
3:30pmBioGal
sort of, a bisexual woman who is more queer/lesbo/woman identified - i.e. feels more comfortable in that community than the str8 one

Then [whilst dashing to the loo] thinking back to the prospect of being the one to introduce D-Man's pal to homosexy shenanigans, I remembered my own initial lesbi-friendly flirtations and those of several ladies for whom I was their first lady-lover... and decided to proclaim them as fact. Luckily D-Man didn't seem to notice or care that I offered no basis for purporting these things to be true other than my own personal experience...

the weird thing is women who are thinking about trying lady-love prefer their potential partner to be bi(curious)
they do not want a fully-fledged dyke
they want a shared interested in men, a mutual get-out clause
in fact part of the initial flirting routine of women attempting tentative lady-love is to share/compare guy preferences
talking about muscles, sweaty sporty men
as if it sets foundations for later retreats when the lady-love isn't successful
'I told you I preferred Jean-Claude Van Damme type-men - it isn't you, it's just that I prefer muscly men'
maybe it is less of a rejection to say it is a lack of interest in lesbianism rather than 'I do want to be snogging a woman but just not if the woman is you'
3:35pmBioGal
I guess also that establishing one's interest and experience with men means it is less intimidating when you get to the nitty-gritty - you are not expected to be awesome at loving women as it is so foreign
anyway, they were my thoughts in your absence
3:37pmD-Man
wow
that's a lot to process
3:37pmD-Man
not quite as sexy as the rest of the conversation, i have to be honest
3:39pmBioGal
I had better fuck off and let you do some work... sorry for chewing your cyber-ear off

... and there our conversation ended. D-Man had to run to his radio show and I wandered in search of food-based sustenance - The word of the Lord might fill some bellies (Ezekiel 3:3), but He wasn't feeling chatty and I craved chocolate...

Until next time, hombres!