Televisual treats! Question: Is Keesha the new Shane?

What a day! Rizzoli and Isles, The Closer and The Big C [Andrea: “I don't see myself as skinny, but I do see myself as a lady so you best come correct.” LOVE IT!]... and the delectable UNICORN PLAN-IT - - there was so much to adore about this new series that I have made a list of my favourite moments. This isn't so much a recap as a top-10 of the awesomeness!

• Episode #101 VaGchat 00:00 - 1:06 - It was just like the best bits of The L Word, perhaps Liquid Heat S5E9

• Episode #101 VaGchat 1:07 - So, was her boot still outside the morning after? She (Vick) took time to pull one on whilst still in their house... I can understand kicking stiletto heels off on the way to a serious rumpus session; you don't want those bad boys intermingling with the lady-loving... But pulling off one boot, before getting inside? Am I missing something? Is that what LA queer ladies do? Sexy-time with one shoe on? Clearly it is, because there was at least one risk-lover in the room that night: see Exhibit A.

Exhibit A from VaGchat

• Episode #101 VaGchat 2:47 - J: "..and by let's I mean you."

• Episode #101 VaGchat 3:24 - Scissors Bump! 

Scissor bump! Hmm, plural or singular... scissors

• Episode #101 VaGchat 4:54 - J: "...why didn't you just tell my face?"

• Episode #102: Bang it Out! 2:53 Vick: "...I gayly respect tradition, the gender binary and my mother."

• Episode #102: Bang it Out! 3:51 Keesha: "I do taste delicious"

• The marvellous music created in-house!

• The super-clever writing skillz! 

• The gorgeous gay women (and Amir Levi!) filling the screen...

But I have questions... actually just one question:

Is Keesha the new Shane?

I know Vick is being set-up as the lady-killer character, but I get the vibe from Keesha that she will turn out to be the wicked heart-breaker. OR MAYBE... Vick and Keesha were characters written for Sarah Croce and Ashley Reed respectively, but they switched them to spice things up - since we would all be expecting the brunette with the heart-throb blue eyes to be the trouble-maker.

Mostly my feelings about all this can be summarised thusly: click here to hear!

UNICORN PLAN-IT: It's so close now, I can almost touch it!

Thanks to Alice for this image from the gif competition

Hip-hip-hooray, UNICORN PLAN-IT starts today!

Yes, my lovelies, the exciting new webseries by the gorgeous people at Autostraddle and their beauteous pals has already garnered accolades, tweets and posts aplenty - - and it hasn't even started yet! No need to wait! Yup, Monday August 1st (TODAY) is the world premiere of this scripted show's first two episodes.

Here is how it all started...

Temped to tune in? You should be! Need more persuasion? Here is a synopsis of the show and the teaser video where Ashley explains The Ho Bag!

"The show centers around an events planning office in LA, lesbian owned and operated. It's character centered, around J (Sherri D. Sutton), the boss, her lover Harmony who is also a spiritual healer (Haviland Stillwell), and her employees, player Vick (Ashley Reed), emotionally promiscuous Keesha (Sarah Croce), and the lone gay boy (Amir Levi). The business and the relationship are at a crossroads, so Harmony brings in a big piece of business -- her former college "roommate" Bambi (Catherine Wadkins) is getting married, and the UNICORN PLAN-IT team has to get their shit together and plan it! We refer to everyone as Unicorns, because gay people love them, because they are magical and lovely, and also, they are really just lesbian horses. Obvs. Holler. UNICORN PLAN-IT...Get horny."

Already love it? Good! You should check out Unicorn Plan-It's facebook page, youtube channel and twitter feed! You want to know more RIGHT NOW? Okay, how about this? Insider info, from a starlet in the know, reveals that the show is made by almost entirely gay ladies (crew, cast, etc.). So if you want to support it just because it has great queer and feminist ideals, then that would be wonderful, too!

Let's take a closer look at these wonderful people...

SARAH CROCE (actress, Girl Talk, Autostraddle's Miss April)
Stalking opportunities: Facebook twitter tumblr youtube model portfolio
Top Google search suggestions:

ASHLEY REED (writer, upcoming film HARTS LOCATION)
Stalking opportunities: Facebook twitter
Top Google search suggestions:

HAVILAND STILLWELL (TV/Broadway actress, recording artist)
Stalking opportunities: Facebook Facebook page Facebook group twitter website
Top Google search suggestions:

SHERRI D. SUTTON
Fascinating facts: Sherri was six years in a cult, fighting her queer identity but luckily for her (and us!), she went through "lesbian remission" and is now a successful comedian and theatre teacher. You can stalk her here: Facebook

The other cast members include: Amir Levi (Facebook Facebook page twitter), Catherine Wadkins (Facebook), Malcolm Devine and Rachel Paulson.

 

Last but by no means least: Sara Croce guarantees a ride on her invisible horn in exchange for cashola! Ooh, the sauce! You heard it here - - verbal contracts are binding! Want to contribute and secure that magical moment avec La Croce? It's too late! *sad face* but you'll have the link for when they start fundraising for season 2! Click here to help the lasses and see a bigger version of this wondrous rainbow-pooping beast!

The girls in La La Land are SO excited about their new show; let's make it a success... And if you happen to be near M Bar 1253 Vine Street, Los Angeles tonight head to the premiere party!

Homosexy people! Use the force of the queermos to get the word out!

[*This delectable delving into the latest endeavour by the creative wonders at Autostraddle.com was meant to go live over the weekend, but then 'Blogger autosave' tried to ruin my world. Luckily I found out about pmdump.exe and strings.exe, so whilst a lot was lost, at least I learned a new retrieval skill!*]

Cunnilingus makes gay men cry: Margaret Cho

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

If you are silent, are you still there?

Speak out, be heard, be visible. Here are how others have done it:

Jeanette Winterson "I had relationships with men as well as women. I wasn't choosing I didn't think I had to. I think heterosexuality and homosexuality are a kind of psychosis, and the truth is somewhere in the middle."

Rita Mae Brown "My lesbianism is an act of Christian charity. All those women out there praying for a man, and I'm giving them my share."

Dorothy Parker “Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.”

Sam Austin "Homosexuality is god's way of insuring that the truly gifted aren't burdened with children."

Lynn Lavner “The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision.”

Gore Vidal “What I am preaching is: don’t be ghettoized, don’t be categorized. Every state tries to categorize its citizens in order to assert control over them.”

George Orwell "In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act."

Saturday Selection

Need faking advice? Mag Missbehave has a helpful article...

Turns out that Sarah Haskins has more up her sleeve - a movie about Women's Studies

Prince's lesbian backing singer duo interview is HOT - and makes the man himself to be a "fancy lesbian"

How to have sex in a monogamous relationship (@Bilerico)

Some good news in the war against women's bodies: agreement signed by chiefs in Sierra Leone precluding Female Genital Mutilation.

FGM happens to be one of the (many) topics that gets me on my soapbox every time. I'm planning an awareness-raising art project to combat ignorance about this terrible 'cultural tradition'.

Fellowship Friday...

Twitter much? Then Monitter.com might be useful for those wanting to check what other people are tweeting. If you miss the Fail Whale, then check out this supportive website which tells you all you need to know and provides great graphics...

Mapping out the celesbians (from Queerty)

Female soldiers at risk of rape and assault from male colleagues (@DailyMail)

Lesbian author falls in love with a gay man: modern sexuality and relationships at their flexi-best

The fabulous Susan Boyle wont be getting an L.A. make-over is Amanda Holden has anything to do with it, but she might be helping a worthy cause - 1000 CD's were bought for a charity back in 1999 - and Miss Boyle features on them singing Cry Me a River - with a very sexy voice - the Scottish newspaper the Daily Record has an exclusive player that let's you hear her sumptuous tones. That make-over presumably was to concentrate on her eyebrows, but we've read my thoughts on hirsuteness before, including a link to that razor advert, but luckily the talented Sarah Haskins has a useful video response.

Back to the idea that women are women for their own pleasure not as sex tools or toys for men (or other women!) - lads' mags are increasingly sending out the wrong vibe about women's sexuality and William Leith (@DailyMail) has a thoughtful article on the problematic issue.

Finally, Miss Drew Barrimore really might be the hottest girl on Earth right now, for rocking all these different looks recently...

Back to life, back to reality...

Today's queeriosities include:

1. Jezebel's guide to lesbo stereotypes and cliches
2. Twelve-year old daughter of two gay mom's presented her life facts to politicians, some of whom expressed a change of heart over their voting direction after her speech. The wee one was interviewed: check it out.
3. Jezebel's helpful recruitment guide for turning non-Sapphists into lady-lovers.
4. Frightening news from Saudi Arabia - an 8yr old girl married off to a 47yr old man to settle her father's debt has been told that her marriage cannot be annulled until she reaches puberty. This is about as far from the fairytale of a Princess being married off as a child to her future Prince Charming as you could get.
5. Three exciting women using their energy and faith to become engaged in fighting for justice and equality in a range of arenas.
6. Firoza Bibi, a brave woman from rural India, has won a local governmental election and is fighting for justice for her local community, including women who were sexually brutalised as a weapon of war.
7. Bilerico's guest blogger, Monica Helms, talks about how boring life is in binary. I like spectrum ideas, that we are a sliding scale of all types of humanity, but I worry that this somehow interferes with yin/yang, dualism philosophy of ancient cultures. Can I support a continuum whilst advocating a two-sides of the coin, together-we-make-a-whole argument?
8. Li'l Wayne has been on the Jimmy Kimmel show and revealed that he lost his viginity at 11yr old to a woman, and it sounds like rape to pretty much everyone who has seen the clip and commented on it. From feministing.com there is a link to a smart essay on it, which raises the issue of rape apologism and its meaning for women-on-men assault, and how black men are hypersexualised and therefore the host and other guest (white) felt able to laugh about it.
9. Sadly, the other news story about sexual assault that caught my attention was the disturbing story of a female Sunday School teacher who kidnapped, raped with a foreign object, murdered then put the body in a suitcase in a lake. The victim was a little girl. Paedophilic attacks are not just carried out by men.
   
10. Thanks to queerty.com, I found 2M4M.org and their fab picture
11. Clever video about wrongness of NOM claims through Towleroad.
12. A hilarious video that mocks the original NOM film (@Bilerico)
    
13. New book and online publicity drive for the femme-themed literature: Femmethology
14. The fabulous, genderfucking superstar, Peaches, has a new album I feel Cream and a single from this Talk to Me has a fantastic music video, which feels a little Goldfrapp, Ride a White Horse, which incidentally looks a little Lady Gaga: check it out via queerty.com
15. Cutest thing today - wee robot that has been helped around NY by kind citizens: an art project with humanitarian overtones - click here for the video. (@gizmodo)
16. Sadly the elderly are getting a raw deal again: a fifth are not taking meals to save money according the Daily Mail (UK).
17. But a British supermarket, ASDA, is helping the aging process by selling walking sticks and wheelchairs - no more NHS scrappy, institutional, utilitarian, stuff for you, Grandpa - a loaf of bread, a bottle of ale and a mobility aid - marvellous! (@DailyMailUK)
    

You win some...

Surprisingly enough, some sporting stories to begin:
Ladies' Day was a typical affair ("They came in all the colours of the rainbow - but particularly orange. So once again, the aroma of fresh fake tan at Aintree must have been as heady as the thunder of hooves": Jaya Narain @DailyMail) then the Grand National race had a surprise winner - how exciting - 100/1! Mon Mome coming home! However, the side was seriously let down by celesbian, Clare Balding. Twitter was a flutter over it.

Sadly the three-day event was marred by the deaths of five horses, including Hear the Echo, a favourite, yards from the finish line. No, I am not normally an eco-warrior, vegan-loon, I think that takes it a bit far (see Facebook group PETA - People for the Eating of Tasty Animals), yet Animal Aid have it pretty accurately described. The shocking thing is that they are seen as routine and receive little media attention.

They also mention that whipping is cruel (and I think I have some BDSM pals who would agree - animals are unlikely to be so sexually complex as to get gratification from pain administration).

Scotland football captain Barry Ferguson and team mate Allan McGregor have been banned from representing their country for life (and are likely to be sacked from their club teams to boot) as a result of a series of disrespectful shenanigans. HOWEVER, am I the only one to think these signs were not just "v signs" (rude British insult, similar to giving someone the bird, but a little less serious - popular in 1970s) but meant to reflect and jeer the Iceland team since their Prime Minister is a lesbian (the first ever!)?

Cartographic Crush

How have I lived so long on this wonderful planet having never heard of lovemaps before?

Also from WIKIPEDIA:

Genderfuck is a politics of identity stemming from the identity politics movements of the 1950s and 1960s, a guiding principle of which is the idea that the personal is political.^[3]

The term dates at least to 1979, when an article by Christopher Lonc, entitled "Genderfuck and Its Delights", appeared in the magazine Gay Sunshine. Lonc wrote "I want to criticize and poke fun at the roles of women and of men too. I want to try and show how not-normal I can be. I want to ridicule and destroy the whole cosmology of restrictive sex roles and sexual identification."^[4]

and...^{http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radical_Faeries}

Genderbending films!

^{http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victor_Victoria}

^{http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Connie_and_Carla}

Ooh, and one for the calendar: Gay Shame ...goes girly!

Formal Friday

Compare the original Grant Woods to the irreverant remake featuring Lyndsay Lohan and Sam Ronson.

The B*R*A will be delighted by the news that there are more ladies exploring sapphism than ever before.

Surprisingly cute Japanese Lolita fashions are not just about sex.

Suprising things

Some surprising things:

Michael Winner's article about him working as Santa then crying.

After a fight someone takes a major dump in their beloved's bathroom before a planned luxurious soak - when they knew damn well that they were going to be using the room for an extended period for relaxation.

The fact that my usually long nails have been mysteriously breaking which to me is a mythical sign that lesbo-action is on the cards.

That I was the only femme at the ylaf (apart from the organiser's girlfriend) - long hair, long nails and short skirts - and why shaven female heads signal illness, dykeness and madness...

How my chocolate advent calendar is not a paragon of equality and justice: the cracker shaped chocs are narrow and no deeper or greater in any other quality/quantity (see website above for multitude options of such), than the other shapes which are in general bigger and thus more chocolaty... I think this might be a perverse lesson in restraint, being grateful for what one has, etc.

It's a fair cop, Guv'nor. You've got me bang to rights and no mistake.

So, I briefly considered a wee introduction about myself, my life, my project, but I thought blow that, let's just jump right in! You guys will grasp what's going on quick enough... For those that need a hook to continue reading let it suffice to say that this fledgling blog is going to cover every bizarre, unexpected and controversial (to some) conversation, thought and experience that form a good proportion of my existence. I'm not crazy, it's just that the people around me are...

Today's weirdness is courtesy of D-man and his attempts to pimp me out... No, I'm serious - he has this pal who is thinking of trying lesbianism (based on some rubbish experiences with men and a current interest in exploring sapphic tendencies...). Here follows our facebook chat conversation - since this is my first post I thought I would be lazy and just ctrl+c this bad boy. A cheat? Yeah, maybe, but at least you know my standards from the off.

After an extended foray into the varying benefits of pillow-talk referencing one's own or one's partner's genitalia (i.e Which is sexier - talking about your own bits or that of your current bed-mate's?) and how my preference indicates likelihood of being a fully-blown lesbo as opposed to a pretty balanced bisexual (which I always assumed I was), I came to the conclusion at 2:49pm that I am fascinated by sexuality. I worried that it was a reflection of how much/little I was getting - that there might be an (in)verse relationship - but now I think it is actually just something that interests me. Everything from the use of sexual practice to create new life or to self-identify & determine one's own orientation, to the use of orgasm as artistic exploration - I am fascinated by it all. There are so many options, diversions, perversions. You can never summarise or collate. There are innumerable bastardisations and derivations. Like a very fine fractal diagram eternally diverging/converging. Rather poetic, no?

My partner in crime (D-Man) was happy to discuss the issue... but first there was one matter to clear up - my academic education thus far not being in anything remotely related... Would this stop me from talking about such things? Not on your nelly. Having taken courses in mostly science subjects since age 16 I'm not really best placed to comment on such culturally-created concepts as gender, orientation, etc. But I wasn't going to let a little thing like that hold be back.

Luckily I have found management (in which I have my university degree and current PhD research) to be an appropriately interdisciplinary subject. It is about managing expectations, goals, people, processes and power - all the facets of sexual exploration; it isn't just about running a company.

After half an hour of banter about gender-expression and related topics we had to briefly part company but we were soon back in the swing of things...

3:08pmD-Man
brb
3:17pmD-Man
sorry about that
was it terrible without me?
3:17pmBioGal
actually I have been busy self-identifying as a bi-dyke
was v hard work
3:18pmD-Man
as in you were evaluating whether you want to do away with cock completely?
3:28pmD-Man
or does that mean something entirely more scandalous?
3:28pmBioGal
no no
I was learning the definition of bi-dyke and seeing if it fitted me mentally
or at least if it fitted me mentally right now
and I think it might
3:29pmD-Man
what is a bi-dyke?
3/4 for girls, 1/4 for boys?
3:30pmBioGal
sort of, a bisexual woman who is more queer/lesbo/woman identified - i.e. feels more comfortable in that community than the str8 one

Then [whilst dashing to the loo] thinking back to the prospect of being the one to introduce D-Man's pal to homosexy shenanigans, I remembered my own initial lesbi-friendly flirtations and those of several ladies for whom I was their first lady-lover... and decided to proclaim them as fact. Luckily D-Man didn't seem to notice or care that I offered no basis for purporting these things to be true other than my own personal experience...

the weird thing is women who are thinking about trying lady-love prefer their potential partner to be bi(curious)
they do not want a fully-fledged dyke
they want a shared interested in men, a mutual get-out clause
in fact part of the initial flirting routine of women attempting tentative lady-love is to share/compare guy preferences
talking about muscles, sweaty sporty men
as if it sets foundations for later retreats when the lady-love isn't successful
'I told you I preferred Jean-Claude Van Damme type-men - it isn't you, it's just that I prefer muscly men'
maybe it is less of a rejection to say it is a lack of interest in lesbianism rather than 'I do want to be snogging a woman but just not if the woman is you'
3:35pmBioGal
I guess also that establishing one's interest and experience with men means it is less intimidating when you get to the nitty-gritty - you are not expected to be awesome at loving women as it is so foreign
anyway, they were my thoughts in your absence
3:37pmD-Man
wow
that's a lot to process
3:37pmD-Man
not quite as sexy as the rest of the conversation, i have to be honest
3:39pmBioGal
I had better fuck off and let you do some work... sorry for chewing your cyber-ear off

... and there our conversation ended. D-Man had to run to his radio show and I wandered in search of food-based sustenance - The word of the Lord might fill some bellies (Ezekiel 3:3), but He wasn't feeling chatty and I craved chocolate...

Until next time, hombres!