LazyMaisy recipes for the time-poor and bone-idle... THIS WEEK: Academics & authors get fresh air AND a shower!

Whilst the pleasure of cooking (for some people) would be severely reduced by the suggestions herein, I am certain that doing other things with your life, like having a nice lie down, will greatly outweigh the supposed benefits of chopping a million ingredients and stirring a bubbling broth like a maddened weyward sister.

My tactics are to ensure those of us who prefer to be sat on the sofa rather than stood over the stove can maximise opportunities for sloth, whilst still having something tasty, filling and healthy to eat.

Recipe 1: Reis gyda thomatos a selsig wedi'u pobi (Yeah, I used Welsh to be fancy... GoogleTranslate is your friend)

1. Put rice and water into your superefficient rice cooker; switch on.

2. Grill sausages on medium (150f) whilst rice is steaming.

3. Dust an oven dish with black pepper, mixed Italian herbs, sea salt, chilli flakes and a crushed chicken stock cube.

[12-15mins: You now have time for a wee nap, a few YouTube videos or even a walk about the garden if you're anxious about your fresh air intake: ACADEMICS AND AUTHORS TAKE NOTE, CHOOSE OPTION 3!]

4. Cut up sausages, scatter in oven dish, cover with cooked rice, pour on can of chopped tomatoes, rinse can out with water by pouring the rinsing water over the dish.

5. Put dish in oven, 200f; cook until tomatoes are hot.

[12-15mins: Regular human beings can call family/friends knowing that an audible alarm will sound at just the time you want to end the conversation, giving a great excuse for leaving mid-sentence. Those who work with words for a living now have time for your fortnightly shower: your friends/family will forgive the radio silence; they will be glad of your increased hygiene levels when you finally emerge from your office-cave and visit them.]

6. Scoop out and eat. Blow first, those forkfuls will be scalding.

N.B. Dieticians in the readership will note that sea salt, processed pork sausages and the stock cube are all sodium-rich deliciousness which can be especially important for those that have sobbed over the latest episode of 'Who Do You Think You Are?' and sweated through their fitful, dream-riddled sleep. The more emotionally stable amongst potential recipe-users are advised to drink lots of water and think about eating this magnificent meal in moderation.

5 reasons that I feel AWESOME today

Numero Uno: Blog posting over the past few days has reinvigorated my writing ethic, so I might actually be productive and get my damn thesis finished! Huzzah!

Numero Dos: Four people have declared romantic interest in me... Now all I have to do is choose...

Numero Tres: Despite the weather being rubbish, I am feeling pretty chipper - so much so that I don't mind a friend getting a job which would have been my dream job (had I known about it, bothered to apply and been selected).

Numero Cuatro: UNICORN PLAN-IT premiered last night and it was AMAZING! I'm so glad I posted about it yesterday!

Numero Cinco: There is yummy pasta for lunch - - time to reheat it, methinks!

Advertising campaign for a new eco drink in Spain | We Are What We Do

Two things are important here. Firstly, that We are what we do is fantastic - fully of vim and vigour for volunteering and community action. Secondly, I had not noticed that cordial/squash was not available in Spain. I assumed that with so much fresh fruit, selling juice was easier than trying to dehydrate it. But it seems that the carbon footprint of delivery of heavier products (pre-watered juice) outweighs the benefits. Thus WAWWD stepped in and helped Coco-Cola make a new drink:

Advertising campaign for a new eco drink in Spain | We Are What We Do

The origins of agriculture: a biological perspective and a new hypothesis

So this is something I had not heard of before. Wheat controlling populations tendency towards civility and thus civilisation; thanks to Penelope Trunk I learned something new this week. Apparently the soporific qualities in wheat keep people docile and addicted. Actually it might not be Penelope Trunk who mentioned this, but I'll thank her all the same!

So now you know...

Coffee - the expert way to caffeinate. (from plaid-creative)

Restaurant ramblings

I'm not normally a fan of fancy ratings for restaurants - but Michelin stars are probably reliable in the main. Thusly if you are in Bristol there are some restaurants to check out:
   Ellipse    5-7 Welsh Back GB - Bristol BS1 4SP http://www.mercure.com
  Bistro   The Sugar House GB - Bristol BS1 2NU http://www.hotelduvin.com
  Riverstation   The Grove, Harbourside GB - Bristol BS1 4RB http://www.riverstation.co.uk
  Bordeaux Quay (The Restaurant)   First Floor, V-Shed, Canons Way GB - Bristol BS1 5UH http://www.bordeaux-quay.co.uk
  Bell's Diner   1 York Rd, Montpelier GB - Bristol BS6 5QB http://www.bellsdiner.co.uk
  Greens' Dining Room   25 Zetland Rd GB - Bristol BS6 7AH http://www.greensdiningroom.com
  Culinaria    1 Chandos Rd, Redland GB - Bristol BS6 6PG http://www.culinariabristol.co.uk
  The Albion Public House and Dining Rooms    Boyces Avenue, Clifton Village GB - Bristol BS8 4AA http://www.thealbionclifton.co.uk
  The Pump House   Merchants Rd GB - Bristol BS8 4PZ http://www.the-pumphouse.com
  Rockfish Grill   128 Whiteladies Rd GB - Bristol BS8 2RS http://www.rockfishgrill.co.uk
  Robin Hood's Retreat   197 Gloucester Rd GB - Bristol BS7 8BG http://www.robinhoodsretreat.co.uk
  Casamia   38 High St, Westbury-on-Trym GB - Bristol BS9 3DZ http://www.casamiarestaurant.co.uk
  The Kensington Arms   35-37 Stanley Rd GB - Bristol B56 6NP http://www.thekensingtonarms.co.uk

Early April Fool's?

I like to think that these are real, but I have to wonder: White-fleshed pineberry's discovered in South America and saved from extinction by Dutch farmers...hmmm.

Sweeeeeeeeet!

Litterbugs to ladybugs - M&S are selling Mother's Day confectionery wrapped in paper impregnated with flower seed - eat the candy, plant the paper, enjoy the flowers! Marvellous!

Feeling under the weather...?

Well, if you happen to be suffering from nasal or sinus congestion, do try wasabi. I'm currently munching through a tonne of wasabi peas ordered through SushiSushi - working wonders!

Something for Summer...

So there are fears over blondes dying out (our recessive genes are going to be useless if we don't starting breeding with other blondes to ensure our luxurious locks live on! Ayrian race reinvention?). However, to give us courage, there are friends in the animal kingdom willing to show us the way.

Big Brother's queerest year yet! All sorts of gender and sexuality explorations are anticipated - shame that it is such an appalling show, but at least there is more visibility, even if the context is not entirely positive...

The Day after Tomorrow comes true! Summer snow - what else...

So exciting! Sue and Giles are back for more gastronomic greatness!

Today's trifles

I really wanted to love Glee - and for many reasons (good tunes, beautiful cast, Jane Lynch, LGBTQ themes) - however, there were a couple of things I didn't love. The disabled character Arty/Artie (there is no consistency in spelling thus far) is played by an able-bodied actor which makes his use of his wheelchair inaccurate and begs the question, why not hire someone who actually uses a wheelchair day-to-day? This has already been noted on Media dis n dat (UPDATE: and would in months' time be noted in Bitch). Also his was the only audition to the Glee club that we never saw. The fantastic pianist was never named, so I cannot identify the performer - even imdb.com does not help.

Yet Kurt will be openly gay (and an ace football player later in the series), plus the potentially-lesbian Tina, Arty's weird semi-campness, Rachel's two gay dads, the ex-teacher Sandy Ryerson and Lynch's sport-mad Sue Sylvester may well represent the gayest cast list on modern mainstream television.

I might be taking my team out clubbing next week and we are planning on wearing hilarious late 1980's/early 1990's rave clothes. I think I am taking the theme a bit far though, because I'm growing my eyebrows into a Brooke Shields' style for the occasion - they are a bit patchy right now. Eventually they will be just like hers.



















I bought some candy from Ye Olde Sweet Shoppe to find that they reminded me of Greenclaws' seeds and now I've eaten too many - I need to go have a long drink of water.

TTYL

I have to be honest; others have it much worse...

Imagine the scene with Tom Hanks in The Green Mile when he is in so much pain that he falls on his face and has to beg John Coffey to stop calling him (but he doesn't and ends up taking the pain away).

It was like that today; I had to leave the dining hall as I was in so much pain when I swallowed even water I didn't want to freak the students out, nor faint/cry in front of them, so slowly made it back to my office where I have been ever since.

I love eating and to be denied that pleasure because I took bad doctor's advice, damaged my oesophagus, and now am reduced to a liquid diet for goodness knows how long, is just a damn shame. But, I could have it much worse and I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and do some bloody work.

However, even the smallest mouthful is causing me grief.

Too much liquid and I might burst the tiny tear or burgeoning aperture that my mind's eye can see in my gullet.

Too little and the chance increases of swallowing air with the bolus and thus causing indigestion and gas which throws up stomach acid onto the abraded tissue and again causes pain.

No win situation.

However, on the bright side I finished Norah Vincent's excellent 'Self-made Man' - I recommend it to everyone with an interest in gender diversity.

Cooped up on the sofa, I have also managed to find, repair and hand wash my only piece of truly queer clothing - a black t.shirt with DYKE written on the front in purple sequins! Huzzah!

Finally, I was pondering in the shower whether I could write a piece about the development of queer stereotypes and queer-empathy in North American popular media (as a commentary on the same within popular culture) by mapping the LGBTQ storyies, jokes and lines in the entire Friends television series. Having grown up watching it, I can think of no other show that is as long running and influential as that show - wide audience, constant repeats.

When I have time from the rest of my responsibilities that will be the next task: 'I'm right on top of that, Rose'

More and more I am wondering if it is me...

Just to start us off in a helpful manner, autostraddle.com has hotness on tap in Cobie Smulders

My claim to fame! Dear old love used my sentence!

The power of the interwebs for LGBT organising is growing! According to Bilerico

Egyptian evidence of early homosexuality puts new spin on historical homos

Perez Hilton does not speak for the LGBT community at large and Miss Cali Carrie Prejean is entitled to her views and to express them, even if they are wrong. (@Bilerico) The only problem with free speech is when a person tries to whip up violence and hatred in others - you can be a berk as much as you like, but don't try to make everyone else be as much of a loser as you are...

Make do and mend mentality was always going to be a winner for me: cheap as chips meal plans from thekitchn.com and even Wiki has a great article on Really Really Free Markets.

Titan jail warehouses plans are shelved by Jack Straw

GoogleEarth alphabet from Victoria, Australia

Printing out books in 5mins flat: how Amazon and Tesco might have met their match in Blackwell's new revolution in book supply. Out of date books (10p per page, about £30 on average); the rest are the price you would pay from the shelf except shelving costs reduced, no more carbon footprint in transporting desired books from warehouses to the shops or direct to your home.

Smoothie-goodness

Three satsumas and a banana with a glass of water to emolify (emoliate and mollify - I thought there would be a word like this but no!) - delicioso!

Also: Great organic, fair trade, super-lovely online store: www.simplyfair.co.uk - MASSIVE sale! Boxes of 25 teabags for 10p! AMAZING!

Further ideas for future career - please note that there is no need for me to make any money in this way, as I am lucky enough to be independently wealthy thanks to my very hard-working family, however, I would obviously like them to add happiness and fulfillment to my life as well as improving the world at large:
Clothes designer/manufacturer
Model - either by going to Japan and getting one of those instant contracts all blondes get offered, or by signing myself up for speciality shoots - maybe torsos, or necks for showcasing jewellery - maybe those 'ordinary model' agencies...
Flotilla Hostess/Captain
Guide on holiday/clubbing trips with deafblind or deaf people like Mandy
Sensory foster carer/Sensory respite care centre manager
Academia and book-writing - this is actually the one to which I am heading right now
Dancer/entertainer, or hostess at such a venue (bar, club, restaurant, cafe)
Corporate or government advisor
Speed-dating/matchmaking service for disabled people
'Religious' minister/vicar
Marriage celebrant
Security consultant
School headmistress
Palliative care consultant

Oh, and whilst channelling the Bard, I was thinking many deep cod-Shakespearean thoughts:
Where dost thou go? T'is nearer to trek the world's width than to ask favours of thine children. Never was it necessary, when seed did care for the flower in its autumn days. But with each new moon the fervour increases; A fever in the breast that compels to obtain for thine own use that which is destined for thine fathers. And on the day when the well runs dry, and strong hands abandon the mill to fetch water from further afield, the calf will protect and suckle the bull and the steer as they did in their day for the calf.

I also hope to set up the following activities: Best garden in a saucer; Orangery producing own juice.

Movie comparisons:
Erin Brockovich vs. Silkwood: Corporate chemical catastrophe costs lives
Mulan vs. The Worst Witch - young girl having to save the day after being rejected by peers

Words I want to incorporate in my thesis:
abnegate: to deny oneself something
accrete: to grow together; form around/on something
acoupe: to blame, accuse
acrasial: adj excessive, disordered, irregular
adamantine: adj stubborn, resistant to persuasion
adjuvant: adj helpful, ancillary
adonize: to beautify or adorn oneself
adumbrate: vb indicate or describe outline of something
adventitious: adj accidental, unintentional
acolaust: noun Derived from the Greek, the word acolastic(ke) means "a prodigall person" or "one that liveth under no correction, riotous." An acolastic is "incorrigible, not better by chastisement." These are all 17th century usages. The definition given by the OED of acolaust is "One the revels in sensual pleasures (like the prodigal of the parable)," as indicated by the 17th century quotation: "The acolaust loathes the service of that churl, that allowed him no better diet than husks."
tziganologist studies Hungarian gypsies.
euphony
sybarite
voluptuary
prescient
desultory
importunate
fiascoid (fiasco-like)
dilatory
dilotante (S.Plath's spelling - actually, dilettante)
aquiline
phalanx
beignet (type of French doughnut)
provenance
emaciated
faddish
flaccid
imbecilic
verjus (acidic juice from unripe grapes - Middle French = green juice)
ostensibly

Liquefy my love

No, not with lava but with a blender - four apricots and an orange, or a satsuma, two apricots and a handful of spinach - super-power smoothies to make you feel like you are doing something good New-Year's-Resolution styleeee, but really you are just using up old fruit.

When asked on another blog to name the one thing I was genuinely good at I failed the task by naming three, but actually it should be four: Onanism, Falling in love, Wasting hours link-surfing in Wikipedia, Being able to fall asleep anywhere... but I think these are useful skills - being able to recharge one's batteries physically, sexually, intellectually and emotionally - like being able to put yourself through an auto-spa and refresh yourself without needing any external stimulation, if you'll pardon the pun.

Randomly, I saw this on the internet and thought it hilarious:
"Twat did you say, I cunt hear you? Tits alright, bare-ass me again! Eh, we'll finger it out later."
I guess I really do have the sense of humour of a 12yr old boy!

Que sera, sera

I don't want my life to be without: jazz hands, painted nails, costume jewellery, bargains, wacky make-up, sequins, foreign languages, reading, sushi, movies, salad, red wine, roaring fires, fresh fruit, writing, barbecues, giggles, dancing, restaurants, baking cakes, massages, beautiful shoes, pancakes, vintage clothes, photographs, swimming, art galleries and museums, Ready-Steady-Cooking, books, the smell of clean laundry, sailing, long baths, sunshine, green fields, beaches, hot tea, cold bed linen, oh, and love.

What of the future, then?

In my fifth year of my PhD, I am having to seriously think about where my life is going and, if I don't like the direction, what I will need to do to change it. This requires me to have some understanding of what I want my ideal life to look like and what a realistic approximation would amount to.

I don't feel the need to have money accumulation as my life goal: 2 reasons - I think my parents' cash will last me and that I suspect that I wont survive until old age, I have the feeling that others will outlive me - because the idea of being at a close family member's funeral is too surreal, too unlikely, not being able to see myself in the cortege, or giving a eulogy, I cannot picture the graveside scene, the congregation; I can picture the pain, the grief, the numbness, the disbelief; but am I projecting or protecting myself? Having been to two funerals so far, of fairly close family members, I am about to go to another next week for a much closer family member. I cannot think about what it means; that life has left their body, that it is cold somewhere on a metal tray in a chilled locker - when I do think about it properly my heart breaks and I cry, because to truly understand loss is to know the depth of sadness of all those affected, to feel their hearts breaking in unison, and it is too much, it is too sad to be real. But it is; it is real. So where does that leave me, ever the arrogant, bring-it-back-to-me? My life feels empty, worthless and depressed since a bunch of things left my world - a constant love companion - not someone to be in my vicinity every minute, but a reliable person with whom to confide, with whom to laugh, with whom to make love, with whom to cuddle and fall asleep. I also miss volunteer work with disabled people - concentrating on finishing my PhD has made me realise that those activities gave me more pleasure than most other things with which I have occupied my time. Is it that they were free trips, so I was working the system and getting something (lots) for nothing? Was it that I was so experienced in the role that I was a (natural) leader and someone to whom the others could look up, then eventually an actual paid leader? Do I just like being in charge, being the organiser, having knowledge and skills valuable to others and therefore feeling important and needed? Or do I really like being useful, helping, getting a sense of accomplishment by making someone else's life better even if just for an hour, a day, a week? Or do I like using other languages, communicating in a new novel way, showing my skills to the others, to passersby admiring my skills, surely thinking how clever I am to be able to use my hands to express language - maybe going so far as to think I am such a good person to be giving my time to help unfortunates? SO is it just an ego trip, wanting to be a guardian angel? However, I do also like using Spanish as well as BSL, DeafBlind manual, a bit of Paget-Gorman, Welsh BSL, Scottish BSL, gesture - all methods of communicating with people with hearing loss/deafness (and sight loss/blindness/deafblindness). I do think about living in Spain - I like the lifestyle, the food, the weather, the wine, the buildings, the smell when I get off the plane of hot pavement and rich earth, the smell when walking in the market of spices and fried dough, the smell when walking down the restaurant lined city streets of grilled fish and good meat. I also like that everyone looks better with a tan - I'm sorry but they do - no more spots, just a smoothness - I know if they overdo it they will end up wrinkly, but a sprinkling of darkened melanin is great. I think I might like being in Spain because it feels like being in a secret club, knowing the language and being able to read the road signs, when my travelling companions cannot - they rely on me, and I can show off... All about me... I like hearing myself speak Spanish, I like being able to read the free newspapers...

I also like hostessing: having people over for parties - making drinks, putting up decorations, choosing a theme, getting the right outfit, laying on nibbles, designing a play list; dinners - seating plans, menus, conversation; formal events - is it that I like to be in charge, since I prefer to host an event than leave my house to attend one elsewhere? - I am not agoraphobic, but I don't like to go out in the dark/cold/wet, I don't like paying for a taxi, I like being able to pop on my slippers after spending the first hours in heels, I like being able to pop to my bathroom to reapply lipstick/deodorant, but I do not like people rooting through my stuff - I am convinced they might steel something as a souvenir given the chance, so I lock most room doors and I put away my treasures, I don't like people going into my kitchen to make their own drinks, I am the hostess, that is my job, I think it must be that I am a control freak, I also like them coming and leaving a bottle of wine when they go so that I have supplies for the next gig... I like gathering my diverse group of friends and acquaintances, I like seeing if they get along, if they are shocked by each other, who will get drunk and tell an outrageous story about me - I guess I like the events to be about me and therefore others' parties are not going to focus on me - I even ensure the games we play are those that I either excel at or am hilariously bad at - ensuring that the attention is again on me. Perhaps I should go into performance, I am funny, but I do not have the passion or drive to strive for this goal, I am not particularly interested in it; I do not wake wanting to be on stage - I like to sing, act, dance, perform in any way, but I don't feel a need burning inside me - and to survive rejections and auditions would require that I think, plus there is so much competition, that doing well, surviving and being a success, making any money would be practically impossible, I am attractive enough, but not such a stunner with such talent that I would sell a million concert/movie tickets, albums, etc.

So where does that leave me? - wanting to ensure my life includes hostessing, working with the disadvantaged, employing various languages - charity work - and also ensuring minimal negative impact on the planet, or if possible a positive impact, maybe I can ensure all my businesses are donating to the right causes or planting trees, building hospitals, etc. Or maybe I can be in the Foreign Service; I'd make a great ambassador or ambassadress (spouse of the big cheese). I think it is probably time for a lesbian couple to be in some embassy somewhere running the show and representing Britishness. I love dressing up; if I had a formal function five nights a week I would be delighted - loads of excuses to wear one of my vintage dresses then brag that it cost £1 in a charity shop, do my hair in some extravagant, unusual way, wow the crowds, schmooze the big wigs, be nice to the waiters, compliment the hostess and the chef, tell jokes, amuse the other guests, leave them thinking 'Golly, she was rather lovely' - maybe they would think me so much fun that I would be invited to all their parties and I would become everyone's pal... not in sharing and being close, but one of those people always ready to add colour and liveliness to any social gathering. I do make sure that whenever I am late somewhere that I have a great reason/excuse - a hilarious story is good, or an amazing bit of news/gossip to distract from my rude tardiness. I think ambassadorial work would suit me - dressing up, hostessing, being friendly to strangers, learning the intricacies of new cultures, promoting British traditions and manners, being non-committal about likes/dislikes, being neutral on most topics, or saying something banal and meaningless when asked a tricky question - how do you like the fondue/my new shoes/Stephen's haircut? =Did you get the recipe from a book or from a favourite website? I've been searching for a cookery website for years - I saw it a while back and lost the address and cannot find it again for love nor money (distract and move conversation back to me - I am convinced they are not really interested in my opinion of their fondue, they were just making filler conversation and trying to find something to say)/Oh, are they new shoes - did he score the soles to prevent slippage? I hear that is one of the key pieces of advice given to grooms before the big day - wouldn't that be awful falling over during the first dance? (also employing the fact that as a blonde I might be forgiven for being ditsy and forgetting that there was an original question which had been ignored/forgotten)/Is Stephen going for a job interview? Isn't there some old wives tale about the days on which one should cut one's hair for particular types of good luck (this is a bit cruel and might be employed with neurotic people who you don't care if you send them off worrying that a Thursday cut brings love happiness rather than career success)...

SO a life with these factors sounds good, but I would want to be able to be around and/or raise children, write, design and make beautiful and fun things with which to decorate my cave/home, watch movies, spend most of my time outside in the sunshine (not too hot - I don't like to sweat), swim and dance a lot, avoid being in cars or having to learn to drive, eat lovely food, hopefully organic, even better if grown myself, wear gorgeous unusual clothes with the happiness of knowing that there is no-one else in the world wearing exactly that outfit right now...

I worry that this is a lot to ask, when some people just don't want to be hungry, cold, in pain, afraid, or alone.

Suprising things

Some surprising things:

Michael Winner's article about him working as Santa then crying.

After a fight someone takes a major dump in their beloved's bathroom before a planned luxurious soak - when they knew damn well that they were going to be using the room for an extended period for relaxation.

The fact that my usually long nails have been mysteriously breaking which to me is a mythical sign that lesbo-action is on the cards.

That I was the only femme at the ylaf (apart from the organiser's girlfriend) - long hair, long nails and short skirts - and why shaven female heads signal illness, dykeness and madness...

How my chocolate advent calendar is not a paragon of equality and justice: the cracker shaped chocs are narrow and no deeper or greater in any other quality/quantity (see website above for multitude options of such), than the other shapes which are in general bigger and thus more chocolaty... I think this might be a perverse lesson in restraint, being grateful for what one has, etc.

It's a fair cop, Guv'nor. You've got me bang to rights and no mistake.

So, I briefly considered a wee introduction about myself, my life, my project, but I thought blow that, let's just jump right in! You guys will grasp what's going on quick enough... For those that need a hook to continue reading let it suffice to say that this fledgling blog is going to cover every bizarre, unexpected and controversial (to some) conversation, thought and experience that form a good proportion of my existence. I'm not crazy, it's just that the people around me are...

Today's weirdness is courtesy of D-man and his attempts to pimp me out... No, I'm serious - he has this pal who is thinking of trying lesbianism (based on some rubbish experiences with men and a current interest in exploring sapphic tendencies...). Here follows our facebook chat conversation - since this is my first post I thought I would be lazy and just ctrl+c this bad boy. A cheat? Yeah, maybe, but at least you know my standards from the off.

After an extended foray into the varying benefits of pillow-talk referencing one's own or one's partner's genitalia (i.e Which is sexier - talking about your own bits or that of your current bed-mate's?) and how my preference indicates likelihood of being a fully-blown lesbo as opposed to a pretty balanced bisexual (which I always assumed I was), I came to the conclusion at 2:49pm that I am fascinated by sexuality. I worried that it was a reflection of how much/little I was getting - that there might be an (in)verse relationship - but now I think it is actually just something that interests me. Everything from the use of sexual practice to create new life or to self-identify & determine one's own orientation, to the use of orgasm as artistic exploration - I am fascinated by it all. There are so many options, diversions, perversions. You can never summarise or collate. There are innumerable bastardisations and derivations. Like a very fine fractal diagram eternally diverging/converging. Rather poetic, no?

My partner in crime (D-Man) was happy to discuss the issue... but first there was one matter to clear up - my academic education thus far not being in anything remotely related... Would this stop me from talking about such things? Not on your nelly. Having taken courses in mostly science subjects since age 16 I'm not really best placed to comment on such culturally-created concepts as gender, orientation, etc. But I wasn't going to let a little thing like that hold be back.

Luckily I have found management (in which I have my university degree and current PhD research) to be an appropriately interdisciplinary subject. It is about managing expectations, goals, people, processes and power - all the facets of sexual exploration; it isn't just about running a company.

After half an hour of banter about gender-expression and related topics we had to briefly part company but we were soon back in the swing of things...

3:08pmD-Man
brb
3:17pmD-Man
sorry about that
was it terrible without me?
3:17pmBioGal
actually I have been busy self-identifying as a bi-dyke
was v hard work
3:18pmD-Man
as in you were evaluating whether you want to do away with cock completely?
3:28pmD-Man
or does that mean something entirely more scandalous?
3:28pmBioGal
no no
I was learning the definition of bi-dyke and seeing if it fitted me mentally
or at least if it fitted me mentally right now
and I think it might
3:29pmD-Man
what is a bi-dyke?
3/4 for girls, 1/4 for boys?
3:30pmBioGal
sort of, a bisexual woman who is more queer/lesbo/woman identified - i.e. feels more comfortable in that community than the str8 one

Then [whilst dashing to the loo] thinking back to the prospect of being the one to introduce D-Man's pal to homosexy shenanigans, I remembered my own initial lesbi-friendly flirtations and those of several ladies for whom I was their first lady-lover... and decided to proclaim them as fact. Luckily D-Man didn't seem to notice or care that I offered no basis for purporting these things to be true other than my own personal experience...

the weird thing is women who are thinking about trying lady-love prefer their potential partner to be bi(curious)
they do not want a fully-fledged dyke
they want a shared interested in men, a mutual get-out clause
in fact part of the initial flirting routine of women attempting tentative lady-love is to share/compare guy preferences
talking about muscles, sweaty sporty men
as if it sets foundations for later retreats when the lady-love isn't successful
'I told you I preferred Jean-Claude Van Damme type-men - it isn't you, it's just that I prefer muscly men'
maybe it is less of a rejection to say it is a lack of interest in lesbianism rather than 'I do want to be snogging a woman but just not if the woman is you'
3:35pmBioGal
I guess also that establishing one's interest and experience with men means it is less intimidating when you get to the nitty-gritty - you are not expected to be awesome at loving women as it is so foreign
anyway, they were my thoughts in your absence
3:37pmD-Man
wow
that's a lot to process
3:37pmD-Man
not quite as sexy as the rest of the conversation, i have to be honest
3:39pmBioGal
I had better fuck off and let you do some work... sorry for chewing your cyber-ear off

... and there our conversation ended. D-Man had to run to his radio show and I wandered in search of food-based sustenance - The word of the Lord might fill some bellies (Ezekiel 3:3), but He wasn't feeling chatty and I craved chocolate...

Until next time, hombres!